Slaying the Ancient Terrible Dragon!

Dragons are long-lived, powerful, cunning, and possess subtle intelligence. They have great physical strength, and are covered in nearly impenetrable scales everywhere except their undersides. They possess an overwhelming greediness for gold, and are well known for sleeping on mounds of stolen treasure. By their very nature, they relish not only the theft of precious things, but the act of dispossession itself; basically, stealing treasure from Dwarves.

Dragons have a very keen sense of the value of their hoard, but never craft so much as a brass ring. Dragons are prone to fits of anger, which could result in devastating effects on surrounding land and inhabitants. The reason behind their strong affinity to gold is unknown, but Dragons often put a greater priority on possessing gold than on obtaining food, and can lay dormant without eating for decades.

Dragons delight in sowing discord and strife among the Dwarves, operating in vague obscurities, deception and mystification. Speaking in ambiguous riddles is the best way to communicate with a Dragon, as it is quite unwise to either expose them to any truth or challenge their ideas, unless you do not mind being roasted.

dragon-coinsDragons have tough scales covering their entire body, protecting them from most attacks. Their underbelly is soft, slimy, and unarmored, and often exploited as a point of vulnerability in combat. However, Dragons have lain so long on their heaps of treasure deep in their Mountain hollows that hard gems and coins have become encrusted in their slime, shielding their underbelly and making it harder to strike. This protection is not complete and remains the only way they can be slain.

Dragons live with their breed in caves or in special lairs where no one dares to enter. They never leave unless they’re looking for gold or attacking Dwarves. They rarely fly and if they do, it’s to breathe down fire and wreak havoc and destruction. Beware of Dragon ladies for they are believed to be the most dangerous, especially if they’ve just laid eggs, or if they’re protecting their young ones.

hobbit-villeSome Dwarves appear to have some advanced skills at fighting Dragons. The age-old fight between Dwarves and Dragons is primarily a result of the Dwarves placing great value on their hard-earned treasure, and the Dragons’ addiction to stealing it. It is anticipated that after the great battles of Iowa and New Hampshire in 2016 the mighty Oceania Dragons will be beaten but not crushed. They will retreat to lick their wounds and to plan their comeback.

According to Dragon experts, it may be possible that one day the Dwarves will be able to rid themselves of those appalling beasts. That will be a glorious day indeed, the day that figures in all our dreams, the day those ‘Ancient Terrible Dragons’ were brought to their heels.

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